The Tale of Creepy Clive (Part 2)

For many months after the Window Display incident I managed to successfully avoid Creepy Clive and his nuisance nakedness. He may well have been standing in his window in his Birthday Suit all day and all night for weeks on end but I never looked in that direction when leaving the house so if he was I didn’t see him.

And then one day he turned up at my front door to ask if I would put his bins out and keep an eye on his house whilst he was away for a week or so. He added me on WhatsApp so that I could contact him should some emergency occur.

Initially, having him as a contact on WhatsApp proved helpful. One day I inadvertently left my bike outside and he messaged to tell me – the bike might well have been stolen if it had stood there much longer all forgotten and neglected. I began to think that Creepy Clive perhaps deserved to lose the “Creepy” adjective as he was, thankfully, behaving in a perfectly normal neighbourly manner.

But normal and neighbourly was not to last.

Because, of course, WhatsApp is not only great for quick messages about forgotten bicycles but also for sharing pictures.  And it didn’t take Clive long to resume his creepy ways and to begin to use WhatsApp in a less neighbourly fashion.


I have since had “words” with Creepy Clive so hopefully I will not be threatened with any further “cheeky pics” or naked window displays and will never find myself writing a blogpost entitled The Tale of Creepy Clive (Part 3).



The Tale of Creepy Clive (Part 1)

One day, way back in the depths of last summer, I was out in the garden at the front of the house, engaged in the War Against Moss.

A neighbour, Clive, from across the road came strolling past on his way back from the One Stop Shop with a carton of semi-skimmed milk.  We engaged in a little friendly conversation about . . . well, I can’t really remember but it was probably gardening, or bin day or something neighbourly and dull.  Partway through this neighbourly chat, he looked up, gazed reflectively across at his house and said:

“I hadn’t realised that when you stand here you can see straight into my house.”  He paused for a moment whilst I looked at him blankly – it didn’t seem a particularly interesting observation.  “It’s just that I often wander around my house without any clothes on,” he added.

Fortunately I was saved from having to respond in any way by the appearance of another neighbour, and Clive ambled off towards his house.  I chatted to the other neighbour for a few minutes and then carried on with my attack on the moss until I decided that I’d had enough and would clear up and head in for a fortifying glass of wine.

As I went to return to the house, I glanced up at the road and at Clive’s house beyond and there, standing looking out of  the bay window at the front of his house, was Clive.

And Clive had no clothes on!

(Well, to be fair he may have been wearing socks but I could only see the bits of him from the knees upwards.)

It was not an appealing sight.

I gathered up my things, being careful not to look in the direction of Clive’s house again and retreated inside.   I would need more than one glass of wine to fortify me now.

After that, for weeks, every time I left my house it was with my head turned away from Clive’s house just in case I should happen to catch another glimpse of him standing in the window in his tatty old Birthday Suit.  And the moss began to win the Great War as I avoided going out into the front garden to do battle if Clive’s car was on the drive.

A Return?

Eek!  It’s been a while.  It has been over eighteen months since I last wrote a blogpost.  A lot has changed in that time.  But I am not going to recap – let’s concentrate on the here-and-now.

I have missed writing.  That’s the only reason I am back here.

I have no real idea what I will use this blog for, and in a way I don’t want to have a fixed idea, I shall just go with it – see what occurs to me to write.   But I am going to try to write here more often than I have done.  It’s not a big commitment is it: more often than once every 18 months?  I think anyone could rise to that challenge!

I need to update my photos.  It seems a bit . . . well, misleading I suppose . . . to have a photo of me on my bike when I haven’t sat on the thing in ages.  But it has been so long since I was here that I can’t remember how WordPress works!  I shall get back into it.